Friday, May 26, 2017

Transition is not goodbye

When Call Mom was conceived we had the biggest visions on how we’d facilitate transition setbacks for all women into amazing successes. We had the experience of what needed “fixing” and a comfortable illusion that everybody would be as excited about moving on and upward. What we did not factor in was like ten out of twelve who spied out the Promised Land would poo poo our mission.

Being a Gardner I learned early on that if I wanted something bad enough, I’ll find a way to defy fear, have courage to take the risk, and remind God of His promises to me much like Pioneer women or Old Testament heroes who were nothing but ordinary people.

Apparently we had the nod from God, because we grew rapidly as an on-line resource directory, and practical on site hands up resource in spite of roadblocks, that we had to go back to the drawing board to re-think on how NOT to be just another fancy program, but contrary, stay small, in an organic, boutique kind of way. We wanted a thriving, all inclusive community and be community on the grass roots level where real life happens. Call Mom furnished “seedlings” to many communities around the country, partnered with many regional groups, including unique mission outreaches overseas. We never begged, pledged, charged, or required a secret hand shake. We humbly expected and accepted the provisions of an abundant God.

Our immense riches are in the thousands of life experiences we got to participate in, the thousands of lives that transitioned from ashes into beauty of perfection (authenticity) that God intended from the start were it not for our free will to make choices on insufficient information.

Call Mom seedlings have grown into stout trees bearing good fruit. So, I’ll pass on the torch today to all of you “graduates” to light a candle for someone transitioning onto the path with courage and confidence, and for me to transition into my new focused mission.

Until we meet again.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Remembering Mom on Mothers Day

Reconciling the past

My mom passed away after a long horrific ordeal with brain cancer that started when I was 5. Her closest friend at the time just recently passed away which got me re-connected with her daughter.

Ellen was very emotional over the loss. The kind way a daughter talks about her mother was what I hoped for but was totally unexpected. I was interested in what happened between A when Ellen went to court at age 14 to be emancipated to B, the present. I wanted to hear how the bridge she blew up with a nuclear bomb to justify divorcing her mom was able to be re-built for the sake of all kids who envied kids who were privileged to have a mother at all.

Years of being a wild child without restraints and consequences was not working out in the long run. Failure after failure to hit the jackpot with her free spirited personality left her disillusioned, depressed, and older. Changing locations, “careers”, partners, clothes, and hairstyles like boring toys left her still the person she always was….  Ellen, smart, beautiful, confident, proud, with a gift bag of excuses, entitlement, and a big hole in her heart.

After her second pregnancy at age 18 something had to change. During mandatory group sessions someone remarked that her daughter looked so sweet, just like Ellen’s mom. Ellen changed groups after that comment and resented her daughter. In the process of doing DNA inventory she reluctantly saw similarities with her mother not just in appearance that could be developed into valuable potential. She also realized that she had Dad DNA. She never met him or his tribe so he could never be assigned blamed for anything that went wrong. Brake the pattern. Brake the curse! Write a letter to your mother and take responsibility for deflections. Humanize her.

We are both grieving the loss of time with our mother especially on Mothers Day with the many who ran out of time on forgiveness, humility, and respect.

       Happy Mothers Day