a mothers heart

Here at Call Mom, we hear the same heartbreaking stories and concerns over and over that expose the sacrificial heart we call a "mothers heart".  We smile, because we know how the story ends.
Overwhelmed with responsibility, underwhelmed with support, we did the best we knew how with the (lack of) experience we had. Hormones, emotions, finances, and our vulnerability put us and our children at risk. But, we held it together, determined to conquer one more day, one more obstacle, one more put down, one more unexpected expense.

Appreciation, recognition, cards, and flowers may elude us, however, they pale in comparison to the rich memories we carry in our hearts about the "hard times". A mothers heart remembers all the good and the God love that covered the not so good that were a part of that life.

A mothers heart never changes. We love, pray for, forgive, and bless our children until we die. No matter how old they are, we hurt with them when they suffer. We keep loving them with a God love even if they can't comprehend it. We cherish all memories like a rich tapestry to be gifted on in due time.

The gift of joy on Mothers Day.... they all turned out in spite of the inability to make  their superman cape take them into space, out run the gingerbread man, create the most stunning lyrics to common children's songs, wear Chanel #5 and clip on rhinestone earrings to kindergarten, insert books into their pants when anticipating a spanking, go for a kiss and a hug after the third warning, praying for "sneaking power" when missing curfew, mowing down mailboxes when learning how to drive, and sleeping on moms lap when sick.

Take courage moms. It is all well worth it in the long run.


Hugs,
Mom

Goodbye 2013, hello 2014

2013 has been the best year ever for Call Mom visitors. We did nothing but listen, encourage, and point out available help. We poured the cup of HIS blessing on anyone who was thirsty. We embraced truths we did not previously know, cried over absurdities we were quite familiar with, and laughed at the simplicity of moving mountains. We just simply loved, trusted in Gods provision, and stood.

We also came to realize that giving encouragement over the phone or email can be draining without the the human face to face contact, the eye to eye contact, the empathetic there-there on your shoulder you don't get in a two dimensional (cartoonish) text.

You may resist opting for the charity to listen to someone God puts in your path locally, however, it always comes with a blessing. Be the church. Be the body. Be the ambassador of God to bring good news. Cast your bread on the water and know that you touched the heart of God by doing HIS will.

Love you all!

Hugs,

Mom

how can we help you better?

we rarely get complaints, however, word got back to us that we failed to return calls.
When we return calls to help you through a difficult spot, we don't want to listen to a five minute introduction to your coolest song ever before we can leave a message. "leave a message, and I call you back when I feel like it" does not sound too urgent either.
You can text us. This option might work better.
We still love you!
Hugs,

Graduation...rewind, play

Some things never change. Mommas wanting answers to help guide their (smarter than the average bear)youngsters onto the right path (over the mountain instead of circling it). We get some serious calls for advice here: "She is graduating and she wants to do *something* that will make a difference, innovative, creative".  Don't you just love the confidence? "No, we have not decided on a  final college (we can afford) yet, however, we have sent a ton of application fees to various colleges." " John has been recruited out of a mediocre engineering College and is making good money, maybe engineering is what I am leaning towards". "My girl friends dad is making a lot of money working with computers. I can do that."

Admissions is offering tests to see what you are best suited for if you have not honed in on a specific subject. Few kids had exposure and experience to make a definite decision. What would you be happy doing (and making money to support yourself in the process)?

For single parent families it makes sense to get the electives out of the way in an accredited Community College while living at home and then moving on to get your degree from a name College. Apply for scholarships and internships to see if what you want is really what YOU want.

Trying and failing is life and not the end of the world. You just moved a step closer to your goal of passing a test. Congratulations! Never let fear of failure intimidate you.

Mommas, take a chill pill. In the long run your money is not wasted. Your child is defining him/herself.

Little bonus:
My daughter graduated from a private East Cost College. She worked full time, went to school full time, paid off her student loan. She moved back home for a while to go to.......Beauty College! She had the highest IQ in the history of her School when she was promoted to the gifted program. I was speechless, but supported her decision in the hopes she would have a lot of kids and charitable events to use her new found skill.

When I asked her why. She said she did College for me, because that's what I wanted for her. She is doing the Beauty College for her, just to be sure.
She turned out AMAZING.

we are family (we share, we support)

My ex was intimidated with "blood is thicker than water" when it came to condoning mean and cruel actions against the vulnerable by him and his family. He was so fixed on it that he never got to "money is thicker than blood" and, how we, at CALL MOM believe: "truth is thicker than money".
The requests we get here are random, however, more and more they have been relationship focused. You can switch social media sites, but wherever you go, there you are and the verbal smoke and mirrors of your presentation to create a desirable persona crumbles when put to a test in real life.
We are not counselors, we are moms who share and support with the wisdom we earned when going through the valley (of the shadow of death..literally). We survived, arrived, and thrived to encourage you in similar circumstances.
We are family.
If you are honest, we'll do everything we can to lend you a hand. We have hundreds of success stories. You can be one of them.

Hugs,
Mom

catfish.com dating

If the FBI warns you, it's to be taken serious. Social Media is entertainment, NOT reality.
Just because you don't have the time to check out your "dates" does not mean you have to settle for mouldy crumbs that might endanger you and your family. It's not worth it. Trust me. I have been to hell and back.
://www.fbi.gov/sandiego/press-releases/2013/looking-for-love-beware-of-online-dating-scams

http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2013/02/22/christian-mingle-hook-up-allegedly-leads-to-rape/

ignorance can be deadly

If you are married, and he at 35-55 thinks he is Elvis, still on spring break with drugs/girls gone wild - move on and away from the juvenile. You acted on the information that was available to you when you married him and it was all bs. He is the stunted loser not you.
When people stare at you, it is because he did "damage control" before you beat him to it. You don't need folks who meddle without offering support, enable, live in denial, are not having the capacity (balls) to confront him, hear both sides of the story, or undermine your relationship with manipulation.
He was looking for YOU to exploit. The more you did for him, the more time he had to oppress and humiliate you. It breaks my heart to hear of the pain of families/relationships being destroyed by smooth non performers (sociopaths). I usually don't address this in public, however, when we announce sexual orientation at public awards ceremonies, we certainly can bring to light defective DNA. For more info check the blog on http://www.lovefraud.com/

Everybody needs a 12 step program. We have your back!

Hugs,
Mom

Car 54, where are you?

I don't know where to start. 2012 has been a random year. Apparently we are connected now to Africa, India, and the Netherlands. Welcome! We love y'all and help as we are able.

We have also been copied quite a lot. We are flattered! Give us credit when "borrowing", or reciprocate with collaboration.

Our most unexpected impact came during the Ernesto hurricane that was supposed to hit Tampa and ended up in Louisiana where they were better prepared (thanks to prayer!) We were able to be in the trenches with single mothers in Mobile, Alabama who were staring in the face of a disaster with no way out.  Best quote from there: " We don't want the hypocrisy of the carnal church, we want to see the power of God" They did.

2012 was also about shame, anger, denial, and addiction issues. Women, don't hide under the bushes when you feel shamed. We can talk woman to woman to get it out so it won't fester and you become toxic. We refer to free or reduced, confidential counseling. Best quote: " I stay with him, because on my worst day,  he still makes me feel better about myself". "He has a gambling problem" (yup, success)

If we want to continue to help the increasing number of hurting families out there, we need financial and volunteer help.  Pay it forward. We'd love experienced empty nesters for a couple of hrs on occasion.

I'll end with a copy of an email I received today to show you how we are all connected in a human, dignified way, and how we ALL bring something valuable to the table.


Hello Mom,
You are doing a great job.
Count us www.facebook.com/uds.eastafrica , for a vocational training Institute.
God bless the works of your hand.

Wishing you a liberating, excellent 2013

Hugs,
Mom

little valentines

I tell my moms that in spite of difficulties, each day is a gift, a little valentine from God/universe to go on.
the best is yet to come! trust me on this.

Encouragement (and update)

Many moms cried when their youngest went on the bus to start school. I did too for two weeks. After two weeks my youngest declared: "I am not going back". Huh? Why not? Isn't it fun to be with all the other kids?
"yeah, but it's getting boring". I was at loss for words and not quite prepared for action.
Also...
When you ask your kids what they did at school or with their friends and they say "NOTHING", they are not stonewalling you. They actually did nothing. So, don't read anything into it. Talk with them and stay involved.
School Supplies. I have talked with quite a few teachers on being creative about keeping supplies coming on an ongoing basis through PTA and parent participation instead of an instant demand. It looks  like that might be an answer. Teachers have no problem using stuff you already have at home (from the prev year) Some backpacks have a warranty... work it! Consign it. Swap it.
You are single moms - stand your ground and take calculated risks. Every day is a GIFT.

Hugs!

Hooah HS graduates - we are so proud of you!

OMG, we thought we never get there. Time was dragging on, especially the final three months. I can't give you a party, but would like to give you a virtual hug and some fairy godmother words:

Find out what that "something" is you want. Don't be afraid to change. Be authentic and in the present.
Don’t settle for the easy way out in class, work, or life in general. Hard work, dedication and passion take you far. Do what YOU want, not what someone else in your life wants you to do. You’ll never be happy chasing someone else’s dreams.

and finally, we believe in mentors, role models, and student advocates for at-risk students. Give back to the community what you wish somebody would have done for you.

Hang ten!

you go girl!

free office furniture (almost)

We had more requests for furniture and supplies after the offer came in. Several viewers suggested to "buy" (we do not care for that word much) supplies and furniture/fixtures from Borders- the book stores that are closing all across the country. I checked it out and found, that they had good quality book cases, tables and art supplies for pennies on the dollar.

Stay in touch.

Hugs!
Mom

embracing inclusion

While waiting for a client I sat across a young boy who was very skilled with the remote. Loving kids, I told him that he must be special for someone to trust him with the remote. I remarked that he worked it like a pro. He replied, there is nothing to it. Look here (scrolling through all the available channels). I said he was amazing since I don't have a TV I would be clueless on how to work the gadget. He laughed in amusement. I done my job.
His mother came to get him toting a disabled child. She gave me a big smile. Double bonus!
As a single mother I used to pray for moment like this. Small gestures of acceptance, inclusion and value. Out of my isolation, and feeling out of place with two parent families, being judged and blamed, living in fear of rejection, I eventually became proactive instead of reactive.
With an instilled sense that all people are to be valued and included I meet them with acceptance and compassion.

The benefits?

Respect for all people
Appreciation of individual differences
Meaningful relationships
Greater sense of doing the right thing

quoting Dr. Seuss

"They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches,
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that's how they treated them year after year."

Best Wishes for 2011

Hi mommas,

I was debating on how to close out this very busy year. My personality wanted to share "one-liners" from emails we received. Sad, true, and funny. My heart wanted to share our annual Christmas Story Contest. Stories of strenght and survival. My brain most definitely had an agenda....WHY we need more help accommodating the variety of daily crisis situations.
A balance sheet.

The winner is.......

http://youtu.be/R_M3YUotuC0

We, at Call Mom, care about you, stand by you through a crisis, and show you how to navigate through difficult times.

Have faith!

Hugs,
Mom

Hello...

marriage is not a video game. It's time to pick up a good book and a mentor with a solid background on the subject to do a reality check.

we can refer.

rise to your purpose

if misery likes company so does purpose. Keep bringing love and goodness. Throw random acts of kindness around you with abandon and know when you are casting your pearls to the swine.

A PS to the moms who called about teenager situations: Jeremiah 31:15-17

Grace, Mercy, and Truth

Mothers Day Reflection

At one of our meetings where we provided free meals for our moms and their children we had an unexpected turnout and were short on food. As I watched, I noticed young kids taking disproportionate amounts of food, while some moms did without. I remarked to an eight year old boy that he must have been very hungry to eat a big meal like this. He replied that since he did not get any (free) school lunches all week he hardly had anything to eat at home.
He may never realize the sacrifices his mother had to make to survive those years of isolation, coping with jobs, home/car repairs and agonizing on what bill to pay to keep the collection agencies at bay or to put food on the table. Worst of all, retaining dignity in the face of self-righteous bystanders who had to pass judgment on any little help that was given.

To all the moms who have kids that carry their unfortunate early childhood like a trophy against the only person who stood by them...Take the time to compliment yourself this Mother's Day and recognize the truly wonderful and loving gift that you are to your kids.

Be blessed in 2010

James 1:27
Religion clean and undefiled before God and the Father, is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation: and to keep one's self unspotted from this world.

One of our volunteers remarked: “if you are not your brothers keeper, you are Cain”


At the end of the old year I try to reminisce and summarize what was extraordinary.

It was amazing how a diverse group of people were able to come together and transcend, race, religion, class, age, education, distance, ego and even language for the common good to be supportive of someone less fortunate. We lit each others candles instead of snuffing it out so that our light would shine brighter. When you HONOR someone, you bring out the best in them. When people feel SAFE, they open up and we have the FREEDOM to love them. Our UNITY made us strong and confident to move mountains.

I am humbled and privileged to work with you all.
We welcome like minded mature people to make a difference.
God is smiling on you.

Love,
Mom


"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway."(Mother Teresa)

request for help to get us through the holidays

Need help for unsupported divorced families

As a 501c3 not-for-profit public charity, “CALL MOM” relies on donations to keep supporting un-supported divorced families in crisis. The needs for housing, jobs, food, medical, dental, clothing, utilities, counseling, basic personal care, child care, and household goods is growing. The major issue is that service to this community cannot continue without the generous support of people who have a special place in their heart for helping these mom’s and their children in need. Won’t you donate something to the cause of relieving the pain, isolation, rejection and hopelessness of those families? Donations can be made in the form of money, goods, and time to assist with administrative help. Please consider this outreach as a focus for your funding this year.

Mom
Email – callmom4resources@yahoo.com